Goob, did anybody ever tell you you've got a big mouth?

ahhhh, iconic small town america. it brings to mind the likes of andy griffith, father knows best, and leave it to beaver. it's the time that conservatives still long for; however LUCKILY for some of us, this small town america still endures in our daily lives.
you know you are part of (or consequently NOT part of) small town america when your city/town is engulfed by more churches than there are liquor stores as well as being looked down upon because you do not vote republican. there are only two liquor stores in our community and five times as many churches. i kid not!
if my husband and i were characters from the andy griffith show, he would be aunt bee and i would be otis, the town drunk.
in fact, this is actually how we came to find out this evening who the interested party in our house is. we were making a run to the liquor store and good ol' mr. beer store began to question us upon our impending departure from mayberry. come to find out, mr. beer store's nephew opey is checking out our property. it makes me want to add opey as a friend on facebook and get the contract signed and this whole business out of the way. the stress is becoming too much for aunt bee and me. mayberry was an alright stopping point in our journey, however, i couldn't settle here. otis was always getting into trouble in mayberry and so am i. i run my mouth too much, writer letters to the editor about environmentalism and the likes, and just generally rub the ultra-con's the wrong way (as they do me).
ironically, i find wholesome mayberry's devout support of the republican party just a tad on the hypocritical side in light of the recent RNC problems revolving around misuse of funds at a bondage themed strip club. that's the problem with our mayberry and all of the mayberries of america: on the surface they seem so quaint and wholesome, but when you scratch the surface, dirty laundry like heavy drugs (fabrication and sale of), child sex abuse, violence against women, teen pregnancy (what else do teens have to do in a town with no movie theater or bowling alley?) and overall stupidity of the general population comes spilling out. urp.
in any case, the over abundance of god and lack of vodka are only part of why we are leaving mayberry, but either way, it's about damned time!