top ten in teaching history:

my time as a teacher has come to a close. :) with many "student of the week" profiles gone by the wayside, i'd like to end the semester with the following top ten list...perhaps not the best, but surely the most memorable moments so far:



10. being called a "bitch" and "nice girl" in one breath by a student

9. having students ask me to move an 8:30 a.m. class time to accommodate them

8. being mistaken by students as a lesbian

7. receiving "love letters" on teaching evaluations at the end of the semester

6. getting grilled by students (see cuckoo chanel) on teaching evaluations

5. having one or two students turn out to be "cool" people and hanging with them post-class time

4. having students ask you if you "want to be a teacher when you grow up?" and telling them no

3. seeing justice served

2. getting an e-mail from a (minor) student asking for beer

1. not ever having to see their whiny faces again!!!

so long shit-stain, usa!

our worldly possessions are either shipped or sold, so now to mayberry i bid my final farewell:

pro bono is for boneheads

my original post title was going to be "pro bono is for boners" as i was recalling slang from years past (circa the sandlot when i was growing up and leave it to beaver when my parents were wee ones). i took one look at the hit results when i googled said term, and decided to avoid the porn, and keep it clean.

i'm bilingual. this causes people to flock to me when they need something done. currently, i am typing up health certificates for our pets so that they can move across the pond with us, and i also have to translate my husband and my driver's licenses. what stinks about this whole thing is that i'm not getting anything out of this except a neck ache and higher blood pressure. oy! i do hate capitalism, but oh, i love making money for the things that i do!

the bonehead award of the day goes to none other than yours truly. what a turd! furthermore, i am disgusted by the fact that "bonehead" appears to be a white supremacist band name also, and that there are still folks who carry out "white pride" events. gross. get over yourselves, whitey! and thank you google for enlightening me on a minute-to-minute basis.

metaphysics 101

life has been a little crazy lately. we're closing on our house with opey on monday, and as murphy's law would have it, everything that could go wrong, has- and it has happened to us. however, it would appear that cosmic forces are at work here, and despite a near miss with a tornado last night night (among other calamities), our house is still standing and the closing is a go for monday...

this lead me to do the only logical thing left for someone in my situation to do at a time like this: i consulted my tarot reading on facebook. classy, i know. reliable, also. all the same, ol' claire voyant over here told me the following and i gobbled this shit up, "Ten of Pentacles: Affluence all around you. Wealth of spirit and resources. Plenty to share with loved ones and friends. Financial security has been reached. Time to create a foundation that will secure wealth for long-term. Family life is in order. Cycle is at an end and you can be satisfied with your work. Stability is at hand. Relax and enjoy time with your loved ones." i'll be damned. and to think i have been worried. had i known all i needed to do was consult facebook for my future security and well being, i would have done it long ago, and could have possibly been all the better off for it. live and learn, live and learn.

even the amount of toilet paper and coffee in the house seems to be working out for our upcoming move. it's crazy i tell you! twinges of regret have been fleeting lately, though. despite how much we hate mayberry, there are folks here that we are going to miss...but nothing, not hell or high water, could keep us in shit-stain, usa anymore. we are on to bigger and better things now: firstly, living in my mom's basement; and from there, living at my mother-in-law's. it sure makes me glad that i went ahead and got that edumacation o' mine.