it's a gangsta life

this is me. well, actually, THIS --> is michelle pfeifer from the 1995 smash hit (or maybe not) dangerous minds. my point is, teaching is hard, and it's not all days filled with neurotic students like cuckoo chanel who take ten minutes to select a desk that is suitable enough for them to place their scrawny little bird buns upon. in other words, i'm not doris day everyday. some days, i'm like pfeifer over here: a kick-ass lady who doesn't hesitate to use my past karate knowledge to put my students in their place.

this brings to mind one particular "gangsta" incident in my experiences...

i had a student a few semesters ago who looked like this:



so this student--we'll just call him "so-so" because he was really only so-so at everything, including being so-so intimidating and so-so infuriating! so-so showed up for the last 3 minutes of class one day when an assignment was due. now keep in mind, if you are not in my class, i count you absent. if you are absent with no valid reason, i won't accept your homework. them's the rules pardner!

so-so tried telling me how vital it was that he turn in this assignment, but i remained firm telling him that i couldn't simply start bending the rules here and there for people or there would be no point in having the rules at all. mind you, so-so's reason for missing class that day was that his alarm clock did not go off due to a power outage. boo-hoo! class started at 12:30! come on!

long story short, so-so and i went 'round and 'round. first he tried flattering me, but when he saw that my affections could not be bought, he got angry and belligerent. he informed me that while i was "a nice girl in most cases" that i was "being a real bitch on this account." now, i don't know about any of my other feminist cohorts out there (wink! wink!) but simply being called a "nice girl" by someone who is supposed to have a minimum of respect for me pushed me over the edge. for that to be followed by "bitch" was too much.

i invited so-so to come with me to plead his case to my superior. he refused stating that he was double parked outside and couldn't afford a ticket.
so-so's offenses just kept growing. double parked? it is a one-way, single-lane street out there! how dare he! additionally, it kept flitting through my mind that this young man had not only caused problems in my own class throughout the semester, he had intimidated two of my colleagues previously.

i took it upon myself to have so-so removed from my class. i didn't feel that i (or anyone else for that matter) should be treated in such a way. from here, the plot thickens. my direct supervisor backed me fully. so-so was sent notification to not come to my class and not have any contact with me whatsoever. either he didn't check his e-mail, simply doesn't know how to read, or thought that the notification was an idle threat, he showed back up to class. he was escorted out. did i mention that this is because i filed a formal complaint. well, i did.

i guess this didn't set too well with so-so and he wrote a response statement talking about his confusion and dismay at my overreaction. things seemed to be going well, however, and it looked like so-so was going to be permanently removed from my class...until it was discovered that so-so's family gave oodles and buckets of moolah to support my place of work. so that's why he felt so entitled! the politics of this all threw a monkey wrench in the sense of justice that i had been feeling. instead of being punished like any other "normal" (and by normal i mean, poor/working class) schmuck, so-so was given the option to drop my class and switch his program of study. what a kick in the balls!

the icing on this bitter cake was that as i walked to my car one evening, so-so pulled up at a stop sign where i was crossing the street (no, he didn't try to gun me down, but i bet he was thinking about it!). i didn't know it was him until he rolled down his tinted window and hollered: "it's okay, you know! it all worked out for the best, anyway!" oh the audacity! i just kept walking and ignored him, although i really wanted to go AWOL and jump of the hood of his car and kick in his windshield.

did i mention that so-so was rolling in a late model c-class benz? sunroof, alloy wheels, hood ornament! the outrage.


i was disgusted by his decadence and flamboyance (generally i like flamboyant folks, but not when it's simply to show off their goods!). all i could think of was NTM's "ma benz," which i will leave you with for your listening pleasure while so-so is out there somewhere this morning probably nursing a massive hangover and trying to figure out how to buy his way out of any date-rape related crimes he may have committed over the weekend.